The Value of the AoC Process
On
May 26 I had a meeting with 30 angry parents regarding who their
children’s teacher would be next year. They were angry at not being
included in the process of making the decision and they were upset at
the timing of the decision. Furthermore, they used activist techniques
to make their feelings known. On the day of the meeting they passed
out t-shirts to all the parents, children of the class, and to other
children/parents in the school. They had everyone, including children,
write letters to the administration. They had met repeatedly ahead of
time and outlined their issues. All of this was done within a 4 day
turnaround after the meeting was announced.
I had discussed a
meeting outline with Craig ahead of time. This ensured that everyone
was heard at least twice via bead stringing and going around the
circle. This format worked for the most part except that people did
not stick to their 2 minute limitation, nor did they heed the chime
telling them their time was up. At one point, there was a mob-like
feeling because a teacher was speaking who I found out many of them
were angry at. I had to stand up and ask for quiet. Some people used
inappropriate language in their two minutes and many spoke vehemently.
The meeting was three hours long.
I and my five teammates
listened well. We heard what they were saying and we were able to make
a plan going forward for a continued meeting the next week. After the
meeting, some people thanked me for being calm and for the process. I
felt very grateful that I had the meeting outlined. It helped to keep
me grounded in a difficult situation.
My question is about what I
should have done with the energy of 30 angry people that I allowed into
my body as I listened deeply. At some level I feel like allowing the
energy into me was necessary in order to really hear. However, it
almost felt lethal, or like being poisoned to live with it and process
it in the next week. I woke up during the night having to “rescue
remedy” myself. I had to take sleeping pills to sleep. I feared for
my job and for all the pain that we had inadvertently caused a large
number of people. Luckily, I was out of town away from the school on a
vacation so was able to get space and distance. Unluckily, I was on
vacation and the joy of that was quelled by the processing.
The
next week, June 4, I had another meeting with a smaller group of these
parents and this meeting was markedly different. We again followed a
Craig-inspired format and were able to use it where each individual did
a bead-stringing, could ask questions, could provide a community circle
comment, and could give a one word closing at the end. Again, people
came up and thanked me for remaining grounded and for the format.
I
really don’t know what would have happened without implementing the
techniques from the Art of Convening. I feel like it saved me, even
though the experience was so difficult. It saved me because there was
no way out except through, and it was very clear that everyone was
heard. From that we could move to resolution. We reached a good place
and are now are trying to negotiate funding our resolution.
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